Phoebe Lucille

aka

Phoebalicious

Psalms 127:3 (GNT) ³ Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a real blessing.

My family has been blessed in so many ways but one of the blessings we are most grateful for are all the children each of us have been given by God.  Since I have several siblings we have had the joy of lots of little feet running around over the years.  We have been blessed to experience the precious children individually and in pairs.  I want to take a moment to break it down for you in hopes you will better understand how much the devastating news we received yesterday about Phoebe is so heart breaking for our family.  Although, I do understand a child dying of cancer is heartbreaking no matter what!

Kristina (currently 27 yrs) and Desiree (currently 25 yrs) were the first set of blessings for our family, they came with Gus when he married my older sister Dede and they were 4 and 6 yrs old and so much fun!  They were the only grand-kids/nieces and the joy of our family for a long time. 

Jake (currently 17 yrs) and Sam (currently 16 yrs) were the next set born although not at the same time and different parents but they are about six weeks apart, so close enough :)  Oh how excited we were to have new babies around and BOYS!  We enjoyed watching them discover things and Mammaw, Julie, finally had little people who shared her love of bugs and snakes!

Robert (currently 13) and Parker (currently 13) came next, again not a the same time, but this time Dede and my brother Jim I guess planned better because the boys are only four weeks apart!  We again were so excited to have new babies and more boys!!!  By this time we were definitely very familiar with all things boys, who knew boys could be so much fun!

Mable and Molly (just turned 13 yrs) my girls, followed shortly after the boys since they are just eight months younger than Robert and Parker.  Finally more girls to even out the playing field ;)  It was definitely interesting to see four little ones running around all at once and we were an extremely busy family at holiday functions.  But so much fun :)

This was our group of grand-kids/nieces/nephews for a few years and a pure delight for our family! We enjoyed every moment we had with them and still enjoy the young adults they are becoming today.  I am so proud to say they are being raised in Godly homes and are developing their own personal relationships with Jesus. 

Since Amey is my little sister, her group of children came a few years after this bunch and the Fair’s didn’t come in pairs.  I think there was a little bit more sweetness with this round of children because the “older” siblings were done having children and each birth was so exciting and new.

Ben (currently 11 yrs) a new baby boy!  It was so exciting to have a baby again to cuddle and snuggle with.  Ben was a very happy baby and so sweet!  He still is extremely sweet too.  

Averic (currently 9 yrs) a new baby boy! This one with blonde hair and the cutest nose, it was so wonderful to have another baby again and all the excitement and joy that comes with them.  His adventurous spirit is one of my favorite things!

Deacon (currently 5 yrs) a new baby boy! Oh how we love this boy and enjoyed having a wonderful baby to snuggle and cuddle.  His shyness makes you appreciate his hugs, cuddles, and love that much more :)

As you can see our family line up is very heavy on the boy side ;)  We think they are FABULOUS and now that they are all a lot bigger it is impressive to see all of them in one room!  Boys can eat lots and lots of food, just sayin…

Now we are to the one and only PHOEBALICIOUS! (currently 3 yrs) oh how this girl kept up waiting!  Since Amey lived in Mexico and believed in having a natural birth, we did a lot of waiting!  Phoebe finally made her arrival 3 weeks after her original due date.  Everyone was on baby watch via Facebook for many reasons, but the main one being we didn’t know if we were getting a boy or a girl.  Since the Fair’s like to produce boys, the odds were pretty strong for another Fabulous Fair Boy.  Oh the excitement of "it’s a girl"!  Phoebe has held all our attention from in the womb and still holds all of us captive today.  She is the baby girl of our family, she shines so brightly with her sweet smile and personality.  To be with her is to fall head over heels madly in love with her.  You can’t help yourself; you just want more and more of her!  You have never seen anything more precious than watching all the grandkids/nieces/nephews tend to her every need.  Yes, from birth to present Phoebe is our princess, our heart, and our miracle.  Being the “baby” and all things pink, sparkly, and girly in this huge group has a special place in all our hearts.  Phoebe captivates us like the sun, moon, and stars.  She is our miracle because as my dad posted on Facebook, “In Phoebe we have had a rare opportunity. In Phoebe we have seen Jesus and we will never be the same.”  Our hearts are all breaking, but the out pouring of love, prayers, and support our family has received during this journey is amazing!  Phoebe may not have much time left on this Earth, but the impact she has had in her short life will last for years to come.  Phoebe is definitely following in her great grandfather Zig Ziglar’s steps and leaving a legacy of leading people to Jesus!

Thank you so much for all the kind words, prayers, love, and support.  I am so grateful God has wrapped our family in such loving arms.  Our family is a family of faith and today's these verse bring me comfort.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) 

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; ⁶ in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.[a]

Isaiah 55:8-9

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Phoebalicious’ Aunt Jenni

Changed

Some days I find myself so wrapped up in gratitude I am a HUGE cry baby because it is so overwhelming and other days I struggle with fear of the unknown.  I can be overly grateful in one moment and then get that call with bad news about someone I love and suddenly be wrapped up in fear  the next moment.  It is an emotional rollercoaster for sure on some day.  But I love that God knows what I need, what I will go through, and how things will turn out long before I ever step on the rollercoaster.  I love that Jesus experienced this life on Earth and set the example for how we should live, and in this case respond to fear.  For a few months now this scripture has been speaking to me,

Luke 22:41-44 (Good News Translation)

⁴¹ Then he went off from them about the distance of a stone's throw and knelt down and prayed. ⁴² “Father,” he said, “if you will, take this cup of suffering away from me. Not my will, however, but your will be done.” ⁴³ An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. ⁴⁴ In great anguish he prayed even more fervently; his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

It is encouraging to know that even Jesus asked God to please remove this cup of suffering from him.  It is so nice to know that even Jesus had to be scared on some level; He knew He would be enduring torture and a very painful death.  He knew the road ahead was not going to be easy.  BUT He did not set the example for us to dwell in the fear or run from it, He taught us to pray for God’s will to be done.  Why?  Because He knew God’s will was perfect and He knew what needed to happen for God’s glory and purpose. 

As I sit here tonight I think about all the pain I have gone through over this past year.  All the pain my family and friends have gone through and are going through.  I think about all the times I have asked, begged, and pleaded for God to please remove this cup of suffering from me because at times it just seemed like too much to bare. What I have discovered is while I have begged and pleaded for an easier road I have also asked for God’s will to be done in my life because I do know He wants what is best for me.  I can say that had God answered my cries to remove the pain, I would not be the person I am today.  I am stronger, confident, assured, and FIRMLY planted in my relationship with Him.  I have an unshakeable faith because I have endured some strong storms where every direction was tossing me around and He was all I had to cling too.  I am forever grateful God didn’t give me what I wanted (the easier path with a magic cure) but gave me what I needed (a road that lead me to be fully dependent upon Him).  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that no matter how scary the situation looks, I will be ok.  There is nothing too big for God and NOTHING is a shock to Him either!  

I am forever changed and forever grateful that God met me in my deepest, darkest, scariest, and broken place a year ago and loved me through it.  He changed me to be a reflection of Him and opened up so many doors to strengthen and encourage others in their darkest of moments.  He made me relatable and has given me the ability to be transparent.  My favorite picture these days is the one that says “When life gets too hard to stand….Kneel”  I love my Savior because he has saved me and not because I deserve it, but because He loves me.  All I did was cry out and was willing to surrender, to die to myself and live for Him.

I am so grateful for the life I have these days and blessed beyond belief :)

Changed – Rascal Flatts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVgfHz_f4Os