Total Surrender isn’t
Easy
For some reason I thought once I turned my life over to God
it would be easier. I am not saying I
thought I would never have days of trouble, sorrow, or hard times. I just thought they would be easier to walk
through or experience. Right now I am
going through the hardest times I have ever experienced in my life and I am doing it
with God. In the past I have done life
believing in God but not WITH Him on a daily basis. Meaning I was not seeking Him and doing what
He wanted. I just believed He sent Jesus
to save me and doing whatever I wanted to do or felt was right.
Matthew 11:28-30 (Good News Translation)
28 Come to me, all of you who are tired from
carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.29 Take
my yoke and put it on you, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in
spirit; and you will find rest.30 For the yoke I
will give you is easy, and the load I will put on you is light.
I read this verse and I think , ummmm this load I am
carrying right now sure does not feel very light, in fact it is quite HEAVY. I find myself questioning this verse and what
it really means because I am obviously missing something. I know God doesn’t change and He follows
through on ALL His
promises. So it has to be me that is the
issue. So I start with the actual
definition of yoke.
Yoke:
noun
1. a device for joining together a
pair of draft animals, especially oxen, usually consisting of a crosspiece with
two bow-shaped pieces, each enclosing the head of an animal. Compare harness
( def. 1 ) .
2. a pair of draft animals fastened
together by a yoke: five yoke of oxen.
3. something resembling a yoke or a bow
of a yoke in form or use.
4. a frame fitting the neck and
shoulders of a person, for carrying a pair of buckets or the like, one at each
end.
5. an agency of oppression, subjection,
servitude, etc.
EXPAND
verb (used with object)
21. to put a yoke on; join or couple
by means of a yoke.
22. to attach (a draft animal) to a
plow or vehicle: to yoke oxen.
23. to harness a draft animal to (a
plow or vehicle): to yoke a wagon.
24. to join, couple, link, or unite.
25. Obsolete . to bring into subjection
or servitude.
26. to be or become joined, linked, or
united.
The verse says, “take my yoke and
put it on you” but obviously there is no physical device to join me to
Jesus. The reality of it is still very
true, I must join, attach, link, unite and so on myself to Jesus. Until I am willing to surrender to Jesus it
does not matter how attached I am to Him or believe in Him.
Surrender:
1. to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver
up possession of on demand or under duress: to surrender the fort to the enemy;
to surrender the stolen goods to the police.
2. to give (oneself) up, as to the
police.
3. to give (oneself) up to some
influence, course, emotion, etc.: He surrendered himself to a life of hardship.
4. to give up, abandon, or
relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.).
5. to yield or resign (an office,
privilege, etc.) in favor of another.
I have always had a love for horses
and I think they are magical. I am grateful we have always had them for me to
love on and cherish. I remember taking riding lessons when I was
12-ish and being put on a horse named Muffin.
Muffin was not the horse you EVER
wanted to be on for a lesson. She was
great for walking around, eating grass, and doing things she liked doing. When she knew it was lesson time the closer I
got to the ring the more she bucked. I
began to dread lesson times because I knew I was in for some serious bucking
and knew a battle would have to happen before the learning and lesson ever could.
I am thankful I always won that battle and she never bucked me off. I am also thankful that I learned how to stay
on a horse while it was bucking. I would
love to say that I have never fallen off a horse but sadly that is not the
case. Although I have never been bucked
off, I have actually fallen off for various things most of which had to do with
an error on my end. Stories for another
time :)
Muffin had to learn to surrender to what I wanted her to do. Until she did we were in a battle. The battle could have hurt either one of
us. There was no time frame for how long
Muffin would buck, but eventually she went to the ring and we did the lesson
every time. This is how I feel like my
relationship with God is right now. I am
Muffin and I am bucking in a lot of areas in my life because I do not want to
surrender to God’s will. I wouldn’t say
I don’t want to because I do, I honestly do.
It is more like I don’t know how to completely surrender. For me I am finding that letting go of my
plans, thoughts, feelings, desires, and the “me me me” is HARD! Just when I think I have it down another “me”
event or thought happens. Muffin had to
realize that I was in charge and she was going to do what I wanted/asked her to
do. The same is true with God; this is
the requirement for everlasting peace, joy, and freedom He promises. I have to realize He is in charge and I have
to do what He asks me to do and until I do I am in for the battle of my
life, the battle FOR my life. He will battle for me because He
loves me. His desire is eternity with me
and not to make me happy for just today.
Luke 19:23-24 (Good News
Translation)
23 And he said to them all, If you want to come with
me, you must forget yourself, take up your cross every day, and follow me.24 For if you want to save your own life, you will lose
it, but if you lose your life for my sake, you will save it.
This is the “yoke” part of the verse.
Until I am willing to forget myself EVERY
DAY and surrender to God DAILY there is no way the last
part of the verse, “30 For the yoke I will give you is easy, and the
load I will put on you is light” will be possible. It is scary to say no matter what happens in
my life I am going to follow God. It is
scary not because God is scary, but because it is unknown. For me it is so easy for fear to lurk in the
unknown. Taking each day moment by
moment and one day at a time is hard, but thinking about the future is
harder! The future is unknown and when I
think about it fear can set in. God
knows this and that is why He says,
Matthew 6:33-34 (Good News Translation)
33 Instead, be concerned above everything else with the
Kingdom of God and with what he requires of you, and he will provide you with
all these other things.34 So do not worry about
tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to
the troubles each day brings.
I love that He says INSTEAD, for me this is huge because He knows my
heart, fears, worries, and everything in between about me. He tells me INSTEAD of worrying about the
unknown be concerned or focused on Him and what He requires of me. What He requires from me is the forgetting
about “me” and only living for Him. I am
learning how to live for only Him and leave myself out of the mix and there are
lots of days I do not think I am very successful and get discouraged. Living for God is a life long learning process. It is so important to have other Christ
followers in my life to encourage me during this journey of new life. Some days I feel like I am in the middle of
the lake drowning, crying for help, and so caught up in my stuff that I do not
realize if I just put my feet down I can touch the bottom of the lake and stand
up. My family and friends are always
there screaming from the side, “you can touch the bottom, stand up” and
cheering me on. I am grateful and
blessed for sure :) God is the bottom, He is the solid
foundation, He is all knowing, and He loves me way more than I love
myself. He is never guided by false
feelings, temporary emotions, or surrounding circumstances. God knew I would not be perfect in my
relationship with Him. He knew I would
struggle and need LOTS of
help. Thankfully, He provided the
perfect example and the perfect sacrifice, Jesus, so I could just be me. The me that struggles, but has the true
desire to only live a life God called me to live. The me that wants nothing more than to be
pleasing to Him and stand before Him and hear “Well Done good and faithful one”. So
today I joyfully say,
Psalm 139:23-24 (Good News Translation)
23 Examine me, O God, and know my mind; test me, and
discover my thoughts. 24 Find out if there is
any evil in me and guide me in the everlasting way.[b]
This testing and examining period is hard. It is not easy and actually it is painful on
some days. There are lots of tears for
sure. But the reward is a true, total
surrendered life with Jesus and the promise of eternity. How awesome is that! What could be a better reward than eternity
with God…NOTHING!
Casting Crowns: Praise you in
this storm
