Total Surrender isn’t Easy

For some reason I thought once I turned my life over to God it would be easier.  I am not saying I thought I would never have days of trouble, sorrow, or hard times.  I just thought they would be easier to walk through or experience.  Right now I am going through the hardest times I have ever experienced in my life and I am doing it with God.  In the past I have done life believing in God but not WITH Him on a daily basis.  Meaning I was not seeking Him and doing what He wanted.  I just believed He sent Jesus to save me and doing whatever I wanted to do or felt was right.

Matthew 11:28-30 (Good News Translation)

²⁸ Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.²⁹ Take my yoke and put it on you, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit; and you will find rest.³⁰ For the yoke I will give you is easy, and the load I will put on you is light.

I read this verse and I think , ummmm this load I am carrying right now sure does not feel very light, in fact it is quite HEAVY.  I find myself questioning this verse and what it really means because I am obviously missing something.  I know God doesn’t change and He follows through on ALL His promises.  So it has to be me that is the issue.  So I start with the actual definition of yoke.

Yoke:

noun

1. a device for joining together a pair of draft animals, especially oxen, usually consisting of a crosspiece with two bow-shaped pieces, each enclosing the head of an animal. Compare harness ( def. 1 ) .

2. a pair of draft animals fastened together by a yoke: five yoke of oxen.

3. something resembling a yoke or a bow of a yoke in form or use.

4. a frame fitting the neck and shoulders of a person, for carrying a pair of buckets or the like, one at each end.

5. an agency of oppression, subjection, servitude, etc.

EXPAND

verb (used with object)

21. to put a yoke on; join or couple by means of a yoke.

22. to attach (a draft animal) to a plow or vehicle: to yoke oxen.

23. to harness a draft animal to (a plow or vehicle): to yoke a wagon.

24. to join, couple, link, or unite.

25. Obsolete . to bring into subjection or servitude.

26. to be or become joined, linked, or united.

The verse says, “take my yoke and put it on you” but obviously there is no physical device to join me to Jesus.  The reality of it is still very true, I must join, attach, link, unite and so on myself to Jesus.  Until I am willing to surrender to Jesus it does not matter how attached I am to Him or believe in Him.

Surrender:

1. to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress: to surrender the fort to the enemy; to surrender the stolen goods to the police.

2. to give (oneself) up, as to the police.

3. to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc.: He surrendered himself to a life of hardship.

4. to give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.).

5. to yield or resign (an office, privilege, etc.) in favor of another.

I have always had a love for horses and I think they are magical. I am grateful we have always had them for me to love on and cherish.   I remember taking riding lessons when I was 12-ish and being put on a horse named Muffin.  Muffin was not the horse you EVER wanted to be on for a lesson.  She was great for walking around, eating grass, and doing things she liked doing.  When she knew it was lesson time the closer I got to the ring the more she bucked.  I began to dread lesson times because I knew I was in for some serious bucking and knew a battle would have to happen before the learning and lesson ever could.  I am thankful I always won that battle and she never bucked me off.  I am also thankful that I learned how to stay on a horse while it was bucking.  I would love to say that I have never fallen off a horse but sadly that is not the case.  Although I have never been bucked off, I have actually fallen off for various things most of which had to do with an error on my end.  Stories for another time :)  Muffin had to learn to surrender to what I wanted her to do.  Until she did we were in a battle.  The battle could have hurt either one of us.  There was no time frame for how long Muffin would buck, but eventually she went to the ring and we did the lesson every time.  This is how I feel like my relationship with God is right now.  I am Muffin and I am bucking in a lot of areas in my life because I do not want to surrender to God’s will.  I wouldn’t say I don’t want to because I do, I honestly do.  It is more like I don’t know how to completely surrender.  For me I am finding that letting go of my plans, thoughts, feelings, desires, and the “me me me” is HARD!  Just when I think I have it down another “me” event or thought happens.  Muffin had to realize that I was in charge and she was going to do what I wanted/asked her to do.  The same is true with God; this is the requirement for everlasting peace, joy, and freedom He promises.  I have to realize He is in charge and I have to do what He asks me to do and until I do I am in for the battle of my life, the battle FOR my life.  He will battle for me because He loves me.  His desire is eternity with me and not to make me happy for just today. 

Luke 19:23-24 (Good News Translation)

²³ And he said to them all,  If you want to come with me, you must forget yourself, take up your cross every day, and follow me.²⁴ For if you want to save your own life, you will lose it, but if you lose your life for my sake, you will save it.

This is the “yoke” part of the verse.  Until I am willing to forget myself EVERY DAY and surrender  to God DAILY there is no way the last part of the verse, “³⁰ For the yoke I will give you is easy, and the load I will put on you is light” will be possible.  It is scary to say no matter what happens in my life I am going to follow God.  It is scary not because God is scary, but because it is unknown.  For me it is so easy for fear to lurk in the unknown.  Taking each day moment by moment and one day at a time is hard, but thinking about the future is harder!  The future is unknown and when I think about it fear can set in.  God knows this and that is why He says,

Matthew 6:33-34 (Good News Translation)

³³ Instead, be concerned above everything else with the Kingdom of God and with what he requires of you, and he will provide you with all these other things.³⁴ So do not worry about tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings.

I love that He says INSTEAD, for me this is huge because He knows my heart, fears, worries, and everything in between about me.  He tells me INSTEAD of worrying about the unknown be concerned or focused on Him and what He requires of me.  What He requires from me is the forgetting about “me” and only living for Him.  I am learning how to live for only Him and leave myself out of the mix and there are lots of days I do not think I am very successful and get discouraged.  Living for God is a life long learning process. It is so important to have other Christ followers in my life to encourage me during this journey of new life.  Some days I feel like I am in the middle of the lake drowning, crying for help, and so caught up in my stuff that I do not realize if I just put my feet down I can touch the bottom of the lake and stand up.  My family and friends are always there screaming from the side, “you can touch the bottom, stand up” and cheering me on.  I am grateful and blessed for sure :)  God is the bottom, He is the solid foundation, He is all knowing, and He loves me way more than I love myself.  He is never guided by false feelings, temporary emotions, or surrounding circumstances.  God knew I would not be perfect in my relationship with Him.  He knew I would struggle and need LOTS of help.  Thankfully, He provided the perfect example and the perfect sacrifice, Jesus,  so I could just be me.  The me that struggles, but has the true desire to only live a life God called me to live.  The me that wants nothing more than to be pleasing to Him and stand before Him and hear “Well Done good and faithful one”.  So today I joyfully say,

Psalm 139:23-24 (Good News Translation)

²³ Examine me, O God, and know my mind; test me, and discover my thoughts. ²⁴ Find out if there is any evil in me and guide me in the everlasting way.^[b]

This testing and examining period is hard.  It is not easy and actually it is painful on some days.  There are lots of tears for sure.  But the reward is a true, total surrendered life with Jesus and the promise of eternity.  How awesome is that!  What could be a better reward than eternity with God…NOTHING!  

Casting Crowns:  Praise you in this storm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGPS8sa-bRQ&feature=related